Dearest Diary, I am writing to add to the first of hopefully many more entries of my own digital journal. It is September 3rd, 2025. I hate September with my whole heart. This month reminds me of bitterness and trauma, sadly. However, I would like to move forward from these reminders. I'd like to focus on my art, my health, and my happiness. And this diary will hopefully keep track of my progress (linear or not). I began the first day of September by waking up at almost exactly 12 am. After waking up in a panic, I began to experience auditory hallucinations. I have not experienced them yet, to my knowledge, but the experience sent me into an even bigger panic attack. If not for my lover, I don't know how I would have calmed down from the situation. Since then, I have been trying to focus my mind on things I enjoy and like. I drew a new about the artist page. I've been trying to draw a bit more than usual in general. I'd like to focus my love on my friends more, too. I got to hang out with one of my friends recently. She came down from uni to visit, and I'm very glad I got to see her. I hope to continue to meet up with or just talk with my friends. I have been making an effort to keep in contact with family while I'm staying with my boyfriend. Having my boyfriend around is a huge help to my mental health. He understands my disabilities better than anyone. I am consistently reminded of his love, even when he does simple things for me like bring me my medication and a glass of water. I would like to work on becoming a more reliable partner, despite my disabilities and disorders. My boyfriend disagrees…. i will continue to try… Overall this is my own testimony that I am trying my hardest. Dear Diary… This past few weeks has been pretty decent! Me and my boyfriend have been discussing our watchlist for the next few months. I'm excited. Alongside our watchlist is our PLAY list. We NEED to play Night in The Woods. I've decided. AND I have convinced my boyfriend. I'm so excited to play that game with him I think both of us will cry. We went to target recently and I got the LPS pet pair with the collie and lamb. Of course I checked which pawprint matched which pet beforehand so I was PREPARED. Me and him are very excited for Autumn. I really do enjoy fall more than any other season I think. Even if I'm a Winter baby. Alongside my LPS purchase is the hello kitty halloween build a bear i got while hanging out with Mari and Gabby. OH MY GOD, have I been waiting on this. Mari randomly texted and we decided to go to the mall, get food, then check out spirit halloween. The trip to build a bear was fun in of itself because since a bunch of children were watching me build my hello kitty I of course had to become an actor and get super interactive. I think Gabby and Mari just thought I was being silly for a second until they pointed out the kids and I said I knew lmao. While chatting, Gabby and I had many words to say on Charlie Kirk, Mari as well. I really liked hearing Mari's perspective as a person in high school. She offered a terrifying reality. Besides that, I'm excited for her future musical theater performance!!! That is something I have to look forward to for sure. In return for buying me lunch as well (since she doesnt have venmo) I offered to draw Gabby something. She agreed as usual and I finished the drawing today! I think its cute and Gabby said she thought that as well so I'm proud of myself.

When it comes to my mental health, I am doing okay! My hallucinations are shitty, yes, but I have somewhat learned to manage them as they get more frequent. Despite my big art boom, I've kinda fell out of the mood to draw (oops!). Me and BF also had to visit my house to grab extra medication cuz I had run out of my antipsychotics. I really need to focus on taking them and I will be okay. I have a few appointments coming up, including my Psych appointment, so hopefully I will be able to get some help for what I am going through! All good vibes and hopes. For the future, I would like to continue to see my friends more (which of course was my last goal, still a work in progress but clearly I am still making the time for them!). And! I'd like to talk with my online friends more. I am always scared I neglect our relationships, but I try my best despite my agoraphobia. I would also like to get better sleep! I do sometimes take my sleeping meds but I need to be semi consistent with them for a while until my sleep schedule is fixed. im so sleepy…